The Thurgaland’s Lose Kathryn To A Car Accident

The Thurgaland's Lose Kathryn To A Car Accident-Podcast
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SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: [00:00:00] Today. I have a really interesting, unique group here with me. I have two brothers and a sister with me. I have the th golans with me today. Welcome to the show, guys.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Thank you so much. We're glad to be here.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Yeah I'm really glad to have you guys. I met Elizabeth actually at our summit, which I love doing and have now connected with her brothers, and they're gonna be sharing [00:01:00] about their sister Kayleigh today. So I'm gonna turn it over to you guys. What I'd love to do is understand this family dynamic.

I'm one of four, so definitely get that dynamic. But I'd love to know what it was like growing up with Kayleigh. Elizabeth, I'm gonna hand it over to you. First, tell us a little bit about your dynamic and what that was like.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Yeah, absolutely. And thank you again so much for having us and this platform to share about our sister Kayleigh. I am the oldest of four and Kayleigh is the third. Avery is the second. Ryan's the baby. And I take a lot of pride in being the first born. My parents met and very quickly made me, and so I feel like I made them and they're still together.

And our whole family, our, we grew up with our great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. We have a really big family and we've all been very [00:02:00] close. And they've always let us know we haven't ever forgotten how special that is. And my brother and I were talking earlier and he mentioned how we just never could have imagined losing our sister.

We, we knew we had it good and we really embraced the love that we shared with one another and the crazy, fun and dysfunctional of our family. So it was hard when she left us. But growing up we, when I was four years old, we moved into our house that my parents still live in now that my brother Ryan is sitting in.

And we built a beautiful life there. My mom stay at home mom and went to school for accounting and got her master's degree. Our dad ran a video marketing production company, so [00:03:00] sometimes he was out on the road. So I was like a second mommy in the house and we just had a lot of fun growing up.

Spent a lot of time together as siblings. Running around in the woods behind our house and playing a lot outside. And we have a large backyard and bonfire and the swing. And we would travel because my dad owned his own company. We went on like a month long RV vacation a couple of times, and really soaked in adventuring together and doing new crazy things.

Our parents taught us to really enjoy the little things and make the most out of life and our together. When I was 18, I moved out. I graduated and moved, went to University of Dayton in Ohio and it was super hard to leave my family, my siblings behind in particular 'cause they're all really [00:04:00] close.

And we shared everything together. I've like never had my own room. I still share a room with my husband. But so when I moved out, we, Kayleigh and I were still really close and maybe even became closer because as she became older and being far away, she was just always the person that I called. I would call Avery and Ryan too, but we were often talking.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Yeah, it's a different dynamic. It's a different dynamic. I totally get it, Elizabeth. Yeah. No, thanks for sharing that. And I can relate to that too, because I have a significant age gap with my youngest sibling. It's 10 years, so it's like having, it's like being a second mom. And I think we've talked about that before, just you and I, but it's interesting.

Roger slash Avery, I should say. Roger, you are second in the family. So what was this like for you? Like you're the eldest brother, like what was the dynamic for you? And tell us a little bit about your relationship with Kayleigh and just the family dynamic.

SS Season 8- Elizabeth - Roger View: Okay. Yeah. Well, Elizabeth and I, [00:05:00] were two years apart. She's 29 and I'm 27 right now. And then after I was born, my parents didn't have Kayleigh until another four years. So Kayleigh and I were about four years apart, and Ryan and Kayleigh are two years apart. So it's a cool like gap where. We're just two, two years apart.

And then short little four year gap and then another two year apart gap for Kayleigh and Ryan. And it worked out really well, I think. 'cause we all were super close growing up. And yeah we had a really close family. My, my parents put us all, or Elizabeth and I went to a Catholic school. Blessed Trinity over in Ocala for a bit of a while, and then we all switched over to the Villages charter school and that's where we all went to school in the same campus together.

Like it was pretty cool. We all got to go to that school and share the same experience and see each other in the hallways. Sometimes we'd like, I'd see Kayleigh in the hallways [00:06:00] and get to give her a hug sometimes. 'cause I was like, she'd be like a freshman and I was, or when was that? Right. It was just a, it like we gotta see each other in school.

'cause the middle school and the high schools were like switched criss-cross and we'd see each other sometimes, but yeah, we. We did everything. Like we'd have holidays, really awesome holidays as a family Christmases that we'll never forget that 'cause we just have so much fun together. Growing up, like my grandpa would always be telling me how lucky we are to have each other and how much he loves us and how amazing we all are. And. Elizabeth was just talking about like growing up, like we're all growing up. And I think about that a lot with Kayleigh is like how she would look today, 'cause we haven't gotten to see her age like she would have and what she would be looking like today.

I think that about that all the time. But yeah, we'd be hanging out in the backyard. At the fire. My dad was really good at playing the guitar, and Kayleigh was really good at singing. [00:07:00] She'd be singing a whole lot and so would Elizabeth, and we would all just be singing along and dad would be playing the guitar and we'd be hanging out by the fire pit in the backyard late at night.

Countless amounts of times that we've done that, so well, we got really great memories as a family being together and growing up. We were really lucky to have each other. And then yeah, so Elizabeth went to college and I stayed around. I actually left high school my senior year and finished off doing virtual school because it allowed me to have the opportunity to go to work with my dad and pursue the.

Career that I have today with videography and photography and editing and drone pilot and a whole lot of background history that I have now because I've been working with my dad for so long and I left like high school physically to go be there and do that with him. And that was a lot of fun.

And then when it was approaching the time of when Kayleigh passed away I had [00:08:00] a child, so I had my first son in 2020 during that CO year and same year that Kayleigh passed away. And that was like, like having a child during a time like that is the greatest, like light. Of like saving light, like just, it ke it helps a whole lot having a child during that time, it really helped, like John was just there to let me know that life is still here and it's and 'cause it's very devastating losing someone as close to you as your sibling. 

The Catherine Lee Gerland Foundation honors life, love, and legacy through three heartfelt initiatives, providing grief week support to families who have lost a child, awarding scholarships to graduating seniors, pursuing careers in the arts, and bringing community together through the annual love of life festival.

[00:09:00] Rooted in the belief that creativity and connection can carry us through even the deepest loss. The KLT Foundation transforms grief into something beautiful. Learn more or get involved@ww.ktfoundation.com.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: So Roger, I wanna come back to you having a child right after we talk a little more about Kayleigh, but before, because I think your perspective on that would be quite interesting because a lot of our listeners, you guys listening, of course some of them have been pregnant or had children or, during the loss, and it's a big experience.

So definitely wanna double click back on that as we move through this. But I wanna make sure we share Ryan's perspective too. Ryan, you're the baby. In the fam. So tell us a little bit about Elizabeth and Roger slash Avery has have done a really great job of painting. Just what a close, tight-knit family, but you were the last one to join the family.

You were the last, gift into the family. What was that like for you and yeah, share from your [00:10:00] perspective being the baby in the family.

SS Season 8- Episode 3 Elizabeth- Ryan View: I feel immensely blessed to be a part of this family. And just from the day I was born, it was just adventure after adventure and we're always busy and doing something to stay entertained and to have us grow together as a family and giving us memories and experiences together. And of course it's helped having my dad as a photographer to.

Really scrapbook everything that goes on in our lives. And so we have it all documented and it's there. Like that's a huge blessing. I feel extremely close to Kayleigh still, but definitely growing up we were like always doing stuff together. Like when we were babies, just playing outside together as kids.

And I remember making up so many games. We had a, we have a barn in our yard [00:11:00] that nowadays we can't really go into it because it's like about a fall down, but we used to make so many games up there just out of nothing. And we called it a little barcade. And like we had a zip line that we made out there that was really janky and scary and, just anything that we could get into for to have some fun or to get in trouble, we would do that. And growing up Kalee has always been like, she's just raw with talent and super artistic and she can do so much not just one sort of field in art. Like she can do any sort of art. She's an amazing dancer and has been since she was a baby.

She like always would wanna dance and my mom was a big help with that. 'Cause she loves dancing too, [00:12:00] but Kayleigh just took it to a whole nother level and it was amazing watching her dance. And she inspired me to dance too. Well more I don't know, forced me into it. The first year doing acrobatics and I was young still in elementary school, but she was like, come on, I don't wanna do it alone and you could do it with me.

'cause we were still, we were in the same school together and we did that and I ended up loving it, just being able to like toss and turn and flip with my body and do things that look cool, and then going into middle school we stuck with it and we were in dance together, not in the same class, but with the same teacher and we would perform at the same concerts and it was just a whole lot of fun.

And she ended up joining the Golden Girls and which is the cheerleading squad at the Villages. And she made a [00:13:00] whole bunch of new friends through Golden Girls and. Really just kept growing her skills in dancing. And, but not only that, she was in band all throughout middle school and high school. And I feel like band was more encouraged by us.

We were like, come on, you gotta do band. 'cause we all did it. We all played an instrument. And my parents really advocated for the fact that being able to read music and use that really, dev develops a whole nother part of your brain that I think isn't always touched, but it's just helpful with a lot of things, being able to know music like that at a deeper level.

And so she chose trumpet, but was also, she loved singing and she played the ukulele and piano. But Trumpet was her main instrument and she was in marching [00:14:00] band with me, which was so much fun In high school like her senior year, we did this show called X Marks the Spot, and we dressed up as pirates.

And for that, there was this fight scene and we got to choreograph our own fight scene since the band director knew that we were both dancers. So we got to choreograph it ourselves and it was really cool to have that. And we still have videos of that. But out of all the like artistic fields of anything, she definitely resonated with just the visual arts and she was amazing at it, super talented.

And you could tell when you saw her. Working on a drawing or painting or anything that she was just like zoned in her place and loved what she was doing. And it's really inspiring to watch. So yeah, that's [00:15:00] mainly when I think back and think about Kayleigh, it's just a giant inspiration is how I view it and how she lived her life and,

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: I get that from what, how you talk about her, Ryan, it's interesting. It's interesting how each one of you has like a unique perspective of her and your childhood. So yours is very creative, like your memories of her. It's very creative and it's very, it's typical younger sibling. I love it because she's I'm doing this, who you're gonna do this to?

I love that. That's awesome. Thank you guys for all sharing your perspective and like your connection to Kayleigh and what that was like. And just explaining your family dynamic. I wanna join your family. You guys sound like a really fun, tight-knit family and myself being one of four. There's different dynamics and different relationships.

So I think again, I think you guys beautifully described that. I feel like I can go back in time and be a part of your childhood with you. So obviously we're here because Kayleigh passed and it's it's been almost five years for you guys since she's passed, right? This was 2020 when this happened.

And as. [00:16:00] Roger slash Avery was telling us earlier. But if you wanna, Elizabeth, I'll kick it back to you so you can tell us what this was like, because of course your brothers are still in Florida, right? And you were not in Florida when all of this happened. So if you wanna share, take us back.

It's October, right when this happened. October, 2020. Take

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Yeah.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: to that time.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Yeah. It was October, 2020. I remember the last time I heard my sister's voice. It was through my dad's car speakers. And they were in Roger Avery's driveway. And she runs up to the car and it was the first time she was home from college. And I mentioned how I moved out of Florida when I was 18.

I'm back again and again though, and enough to where so 2014 is when I graduated and moved out. 2020 is when she died. And this last conversation, she said to me, Elizabeth, it's so weird that I'm here and you're [00:17:00] not. It feels really weird. I'm home for the first time being in college and, and you're not here.

It's strange. And it was like touching to hear that I really wished I was there. And she just said it with such sweetness in her voice and I'll never forget it. So the next day, uh, October 10th. 2020, my dad had butt dialed me because I was the last one to call him. And when I answered and found out that she didn't come home that night, I went immediately into investigation mode.

What do you mean, where is she at? I didn't know her whereabouts. I didn't know that she went clubbing the night before for the first time ever. I wasn't privy to this. And I was almost like, what? Why wouldn't she tell me? I didn't get any snaps? Nothing. Oh, well she didn't have her phone. Oh, why didn't she have her phone?

And each thing was just, I was [00:18:00] uncovering and I was in the mode. I'm finding my sister and I am in Chicago at this time. So there's a bit of a time difference. I had just woken up, I'm like in my robe, hadn't had any coffee yet and I'm on the computer. Because I had called her friend who she was with, and she didn't know where she was.

She said, she's not at home. And I said, no. So she went over to the boy's house where there's only one place she could be. And I stayed on the phone with her till she arrived and the mother came out, why are you here? Where's my son? And I remained on the phone, spoke with the mother, got all the information I needed.

What's your son's name? What car is he driving? What's the license plate number? What's your phone number? Because I'm gonna find them. I'm gonna start calling [00:19:00] the Florida Highway Patrol. Any, maybe they got pulled over. I'm gonna call all the sheriff's offices nearby. You know what, where was she?

Where were they going? Why were they alone? It was just them. So we uncovering the story. Time was going by and we still didn't know where she was and these two people weren't responding and it was out of character for both of them. And with the increasing worry my mom and my aunt and my grandma went over to the mother's house and I'm on the FaceTime and we're all sitting around and almost giggling about how, maybe, hopefully they could be pulled over somewhere.

But they did not end up making it home. And we found out much later because our dad no longer owned his own company, but worked in house with the Lake County Sheriff's Office, which is a [00:20:00] neighboring county. We live in Marion County and she died in Sumter County. So it's a Tri-County area. So this county she died in, wanted to tell the county my dad worked in, needed to travel to the county we lived in to tell us in person.

And so I'm on the phone, I'm on the computer. I, the driver was Snapchatting multiple times throughout the drive. There was one photo of the road and an overpass. And so I determined based on that photo and where they were at, that they were on their way home from the airport. They were dropping off a friend at the airport after their night of clubbing.

And the dd he had not been drinking. Kayleigh didn't want him to go alone. Maybe they also were hitting it off very well that night. And they dropped off their friends successfully and were making their way home. And he took multiple Snapchats, the last [00:21:00] Snapchat. A friend of his walked into the house and he only sent it to a few people.

So I'm on the phone around the dining room table with the mom and my family and the driver's friend walks in the house and explains the Snapchat that he received. And it's a video of him holding hands with my sister and she's sleeping and curled up in the passenger seat. And I believe it was 7 7 19 7 7 19.

It was the same time that the car crashed that snap was sent. And but we didn't know that yet. But I saw the snap, so I knew she was a sleeping, curled up passenger and the driver was holding her hand smitten. And I had found out so hours continued to go by. It, we found out after [00:22:00] noon, what was it, one o'clock, almost eastern time.

And mom was on the way home from the other mother's house and she called me and said, the cops in our are in our driveway and they won't tell me anything until I get there. I don't think it's good. I don't think it's good. And I called my uncle who lives across the street from us. My, my grandma and uncle live across the street and he's also my godfather.

And I said, could you do me a favor and go outside and look in my driveway and tell me, narrate to me what is going on? And he was already in the road and he told me that the cops were there. And, avery was not there yet. Ryan and my dad were hugging each other and it looked like they had Kayleigh's purse and he didn't hear anything else though, and he was keeping his distance.

And then I heard my mom arrive [00:23:00] into the driveway and she's, she wanted them to say it out loud. And they didn't say it out loud, they just shook their head at her. But she wanted to know is did she die? Is she alive? And they just shook her head. And then at that point my uncle was able to confirm with me over the phone that she did die.

And I was in my apartment. I was right in the middle on my. Carpet in the living room. And I remember just saying, no yelling, no screaming, pleading, no, and falling to the ground and thinking, get the keys, we gotta go get in the car. And then it was, okay, we can't drive. Call an Uber. And then it doesn't matter how fast you're going she's already dead.

It's, it didn't matter how fast I got there. And that was the hardest part. And it was interesting that people don't [00:24:00] seem to go to the airport if they don't already have a ticket. I didn't have a ticket yet and I arrived and I said I'd like a ticket to Florida, ASAP. I was crying the whole time and it was amazing how people just gave us, gave me money, gave me and my husband money.

'cause I was just crying there and they didn't know what to do. And it's all they could do. I didn't want it at all. And looking back, it's helpful for that flight that I took that I, I guess bought. And one of the pilots sat and prayed with me in the middle of the airport arriving. I hardly remember really arriving, but then getting home I was there that night.

I was there that night,

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: That's fast. Yeah, it's very quick. Yeah. And most people don't remember, [00:25:00] once you find out, it's all kind of a blur. Right? From that moment forward. 

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: It was like I was

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: yeah.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: out. I saw stars.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Right. So Roger and Ryan, you guys were there, right? You were there in Florida. So this is Elizabeth's this is her perspective, but what was it like for you guys?

And did you know she was out with this guy or do you know who this guy was? Like what? What are your perspectives of curious, again, you being the family that was local, what was that like? Or do you have any other, I'm sure you have totally different perspectives on what this was like.

' cause poor Elizabeth had to fly, which that's horrific. But you were there watching all of this happen.

SS Season 8- Elizabeth - Roger View: Yes. It was my dad's birthday and he went to go pick up Kayleigh from her college because he wanted her home for his birthday, and so it was like the weekend. So it was a perfect time to make it happen. So he drove over to college, picked her up, and brought her. [00:26:00] And I had John Roger, who was just about two months old.

He was born in August that year. So she came home and I was like, come on over to my house and come see baby John and help me help me out with the new baby for a little bit before we all go to Gator Joe's for dad's birthday gathering. And so she came over to my house. And it was great. I have pictures of her holding John and and videos and it was a great time.

It was my new house too, that I was the first one that I was renting after I moved off my parents' property. And so she got to check it out and see my new place and hang out with my baby boy. And then I remember, I remember Sam and I, my girl, we were talking about how, well we didn't wanna bring John Roger to the Gator Joe's 'cause he's only two months old.

He's a fresh baby. We don't wanna bring him out and about in public yet. And plus it's [00:27:00] fresh COVID year in 2020. We were like, one of us has to stay home with the baby. And Kayleigh was like, how about you guys both go and I'll stay here with John Roger. I was like, no, that wouldn't be cool because dad just drove all the way to Flagger College to pick you up so you can be with the family tonight.

So as much as that sounds cool, like thanks, but you gotta come with me and let's go Kayleigh, let's go party at Gator Joe's for dad's birthday. Sam can stay here with John. And looking back, I'm just like. That could have changes that would've just rewrote history and everything would've been different because she would never have been able to leave Gator Joe's to go hang out with her friend and go clubbing if she was babysitting John Roger, like I could have said yes to.

So that's very hard. Whenever I think about that, but I try not to because there's always a scenario. You could always look back and be like, I could have done this differently. This could have been just a slightly different change in that something, someone's decision could have made that would've changed [00:28:00] everything.

So we went to Gator Joe's and we had a great time and, I was hanging out with the family, went there with Kayleigh and we were hanging out, but she was doing her own thing. And her friend Faith ended up coming over and hanging out. And that was the friend that. She didn't even come over and hang out.

She just came over real quick. She was like, Hey, Kayleigh, I'm going over to party with my friends at some club in Gainesville. Hop in let's go. And so she's asking the parents, Hey, can I go out to the club with Faith? I'll be back whenever. And at this time it was probably around 10, between 10 and 10 30 at night. Gator Joe's closes around that like time. So there wasn't much more time. We were gonna be at Gator Joe's, we were gonna be going to my parents' house to go in the night there since they live like two, three blocks away. And so we were all like, dude, no, we're having a good time. We're partying, we're having a great time.

You [00:29:00] just hang out with us. We just got you. Dad just picked you up from college so you can be here with us. And that's what I was telling her like, and and I wasn't the only one. And but she was like, I know, but come on, I'm 18 now and I can go be a big girl and party with my friends. It's hard.

Dad, dad was a pushover and was like, all right. And just go whatever, have fun, be back, and, the last time I saw her was when she was by the ATM, by the exit door, and she was pulling out some cash to go out that night and I gave her a huge hug and I just told her like, wish you were staying here with us.

I love you. I wish you weren't leaving tonight. And she's I know I love you. I'll be back. And and then she walked out the door after that and that's the last time I saw her. And Ryan was. Out in the parking lot, with her when she was leaving and he was begging her to stay really upset at faith and didn't, and that [00:30:00] for taking Kayleigh that night and, before even anything happened.

So we all finished the night and went out, went home and went to bed expecting that everything was gonna be fine. And I woke up the next day and I remember, like waking up on the couch, I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up on the couch that morning in my living room, probably from drinking and playing video games all night or whatever. And 'cause we were just partying all night at Gator Joe's. And then so I woke up and the, my phone's blowing up. Where?

Where's Kayleigh? Where's Kayleigh? Have you seen Kayleigh? Like where was she last? And so it was from when I woke up to whenever it was when we were told sometime in the afternoon, it was like one or two, and she passed away at 7:00 AM 7:20 AM And so you know, our, I had no. I had no idea that anything bad was gonna be [00:31:00] happening.

I never could have imagined that she was not gonna be coming home safe. I figured, well, she just fell asleep at her friend's house and she'll be coming home soon, I'm sure. And then I remember I was changing John's diaper and. We were getting ready to go over to the parents' house because she wasn't home yet.

And then my mom called, she called me and said get home now. Just, and she's just get home now. I need you to come home right now. And she wouldn't tell me why. I already knew why. I already knew that there was something really bad. I was like, there's no way she's just yelling at me to get home right now and not gonna tell me where Kayleigh is or what's wrong.

She just yelled at me to get home and she was very upset. And so I got I remember changing John's diaper and getting him ready and just talking to Sam, like I pray that like she's not dead. I pray she's okay. Like I we're about to be told something super bad. And then,

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: intuition was [00:32:00] like going off there, Roger. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

SS Season 8- Elizabeth - Roger View: Yeah. And so we I only live like 10 minutes from home, so we go to my parents' house and I see the sheriff's off the sheriff cars, and my little brother's right there and he's just full of tears and going like this, saying no and I like just knew immediately like what was going down and, it was horrible. Just a straight up nightmare. You go up to your, your family's home and there's your whole family there. Grieving being, they're told that Kayleigh's not alive anymore and she's dead and she got a car accident, and you're just finding it all out right there and it's just happened so fast and it's very overwhelming and it sucks.

It's definitely, it's the hardest thing you could ever go through is losing somebody that you love. Yeah. And MC Kayleigh was the best sister in the whole world, plus Elizabeth and Ryan's the best brother. And like she's literally [00:33:00] living through us every single day and I see her through.

Elizabeth, the way she talks and acts and speaks and carries herself and does everything. And I see her through Ryan throughout the, every little thing he does and I see her in my children. And I have a daughter now too that I named Raylee and which is Kayleigh's Middle Initial and my cousin's middle initial Ray and Lee and I put 'em together and, raylee just has blonde hair just like Kayleigh did. And she's just so smart and beautiful and creative and she's only two years old and she can speak full sentences and is super smart. Having my kids is the greatest thing too. That's like when you lose a child, it's just so hard and death.

Or when you lose a sibling or lose a child like my parents did. Death is so hard. Like giving my parents a grandchild definitely helped out 'cause it was during the same time and. [00:34:00] I give them my kid to babysit and I would think about it all the time, like they got my kid to, to help them like during this time of grief.

It's the greatest ball of light you could have with you during such a dark time. And I. But yeah, we are all so lucky to have each other. I'm so thankful for every single moment I ever had and wouldn't change a single thing.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Well, let me ask Ryan, um, while we're still on this, 'cause we're going into the positive, which is good, but I wanna make sure Ryan, you get to give your perspective about that day too, because Roger was sharing that you were in the parking lot talking to her, telling her not to go, like pleading with her not to go, which I think is interesting.

Like all three of you have a totally different perspective about what happened that night. And of course, the next day. Anything you wanna share from your perspective and what that was like?

SS Season 8- Episode 3 Elizabeth- Ryan View: Yeah, starting from the beginning of that day, it was, she got home and I remember I was sitting on the toilet and when she got home she ran through the house and she starts banging on the [00:35:00] bathroom door and she's Ryan, get up. Let's go see John, Roger. And she was just so excited to go see the baby and.

So I hurried up, finished my business, and then we went over and we just had a blast the whole day. And up until that night we go to Gator Joe's and she had put off a whole bunch of her schoolwork, of course. So I remember while we're all partying, having fun at Gator Joe's, she, for her for her work, she had to, she had a bunch of prompts in a sketchbook.

And so she had to make sketches for each of the prompts. And she had to take pictures of these 10 new sketches by the end of the night, or maybe it was five new sketches, but still and so the whole time, pretty much we were there. She was just working in that sketchbook. And then I would go up and talk to her.

And then one of the times [00:36:00] that I went up and was talking to her while she's sketching, I found out she's yeah, I'm trying to hurry up and get this done because Faith is on the way here and she's trying to take me clubbing tonight. And I'm like, what? We're all here for dad's birthday. Why are you leaving?

You've been here for an hour and a half, and you've only been on your sketchbook, like sketching. You haven't even been with us. And she was like, oh, come on, I'll be here all weekend. And and it'll be fine. I'll be back all the time. Flagler's super close. I'm like, well, this is your first time back since you went to college.

And I was just giving her a bunch of crap, being a little brother, and then finally she finishes up in the sketchbook and she did for the last 10, 15 minutes, she was like dancing with us and having fun. And it was so much fun. Having those memories there for one last time at Gator Joe's.

And then sure enough, she's like, all right, faith is here. [00:37:00] And I remember her talking to dad about it. And Roger called my dad a pushover, but I remember him fighting a whole lot with her saying the same thing I was saying it's my birthday and I just picked you up and now you're gonna leave.

And, but at the end of the day, after she asked two or three times, then he was like, listen, you're 18 now, so you could do whatever you want. I don't want you to go, but you can go, you can, you're an adult. And so that was what did it for her. She was like, all right. And he said, I can go. And I was like, dude, that's not what he said.

He said he didn't want you to go yeah, you can. But come on. And so I was still out walking her out and I had my cousin Connor with me too, and we were walking her out, still trying to get her out to to stay. And then I, one point I realized, all right, like faith is already here. She's walking to the car, she's not gonna stay.[00:38:00] 

So then I was just like, okay, well you should make sure to come back at a reasonable time. And I'm sure we're still gonna be up partying at the Mack Shack 'cause I knew we were going, coming back to my house. And then my cousins live right down the road and we have this small little shack called the Mac Shack that we have video games in and, lot awesome speakers and lights in there.

And it's just a fun little party shack. And I was like, I'm sure we'll be up staying late over there, so just get back and bring faith or whatever. And y'all come spend the night at the M Shack. So that's what I did. I spent the night at the Mac Shack that night. They left and I hugged her goodbye. And then I woke up from the Mac Shack and I was getting blown up on my phone saying to come home.

They were worried about Kayleigh. And [00:39:00] or they were calling me asking if I knew where Kalee was, asking if Kalee came to the Mac Shack. And I was like, Nope, she never came here. She's not home yet. And I was like, and I could tell they're all worried. And I was like, in my mind, I wasn't worried at all.

And this is my big sister we're talking about she's invincible. What do you mean? And I was like, she's just goofing off like she was being. An adult for like the first time. And it's not surprising that she wants to go spend the night at a friend's house and not tell us, or I was like, anything could be happening.

But she's gonna be back. And so I came back home and I remember actually arguing with my dad about it because he was like, what took you so long to get here? We're I told you to come home and we're all worried? And I was like arguing with him Kayleigh's fine, she's an adult, she's got friends with her [00:40:00] and you guys are blowing this up outta nothing.

There's no reason to be worried yet. Like we don't know anything. And and I remember saying I was actually about to go. Either to the cousin's house again. 'cause I think I left something or I was gonna go to Avery's house. But I remember going, like I was about to leave, I hopped in my car and my dad was upset that I was leaving and I was like, I'll be right back.

I'm just gonna go grab something. And he is I wish you would just stay here. We're all like upset right now and worried. And I was just telling him there's nothing to be worried about. We don't know anything yet. I'm sure she's fine. And then I put the car in reverse and I turn around and I see a cop car pull up behind me and I put the car in park and I was like, well, crap.

Like E, [00:41:00] except like saying much worse words in my head. And then I get outta the car and I come inside and I. Yell for dad. And I tell him, dad, there are cops here. And I just hear him start cursing in his room and he is no, like you're lying. Tell me like no. Like just complete denial. And we go to the door and the cops walk up and it was just me and my dad standing in the doorway.

And I don't fully remember what was said. I remember they said a time and like they said, your daughter Katherine Gerland passed away this morning at seven 50 something, or I don't know. And I [00:42:00] didn't make it through like the full thing. I just heard catherine passed away this morning and just immediately collapsed into my dad and was yelling like, no and didn't understand, and was just like, so confused.

And they handed us her purse, which made it very real. And and I feel like it was like all within the next 10 minutes, like all of a sudden our driveway was filled with family members. And I like, I feel like it was 10 minutes after that Elizabeth was there. I was like, what? But it wasn't actually 10 minutes, it's just time really merged together.

And I had no concept of even what was happening after that. And like still today, I find it hard thinking back on it and just. Trying to recall all of what happened [00:43:00] that day after and the whole week after. We call it our like grief week, because that's the week where the grief really hit.

And there was not only were we going through that, but there's, there was immense support at like from all angles, from friends and family just sending us food and sending us gift baskets and flowers and wind chimes and like beautiful decorations and more food and water tissues. It was just amazing.

But really hard.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Yeah. Thanks for sharing your perspective too. Ryan, so let me ask you guys this, Elizabeth, I'll bring it back to you. So I just wanna be clear, so like everyone listening understands what exactly happened. 'cause we haven't actually talked about that. So she, they were in an accident, the car went off the road, like what happened?

[00:44:00] And did the driver pass away as well? What actually happened, Elizabeth? Yeah.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Yeah. It, they both died due to distracted driving and speeding.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Which we know was him. Right. With the snapshots and Right. And

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: he was driving and she was sleeping and and on his phone multiple times throughout the drive. And I feel like if she wasn't sleeping, she might've said, slow down. You're going too fast. By the time they crashed, he was, the car was going in its seventies when it crashed and it was a 55 and he put on the brakes before.

So it was a four lane and it was on 3 0 1 and Wildwood. And we have a roadside memorial. They both have roadside memorials there, and he was on his phone, overcorrected when a truck pulled out in [00:45:00] front of them, crossed the median, and they were hit by an oncoming truck and they both died on the scene.

And given the state of the car afterwards, I pulled out her shoe that was stuck under the seat. There was hardly a passenger seat. So I think she was pretty immediate and I don't know about the driver, but he was also on the scene. Pronounced dead on the scene.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: So when they arrived, both of them were pronounced, is what you're saying? Yeah. I follow you. My god, you guys, I'm so sorry that you, that you went through this, I wanna make sure that we have time to talk about where you are today though, because you guys have created a foundation in honor of your sister, and I really wanna make sure we have some time to talk about that.

So, do you wanna tell us a little bit about the foundation, Elizabeth?

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Yeah, as Ryan was saying, after Kayleigh died we had a lot of support from friends and family and. Some just [00:46:00] came and sat with us, some, took out our garbage, brought bigger garbage cans, and like all these little things that you don't think of bringing tissues and toilet paper.

We had family coming to visit. The grief week that we experienced, I think is common among many who lose a child or others when the time in between when they pass and when you maybe have a service for them. So we did have a church service for Kayleigh a week later and it ended up being we knew that there would be too many people for our church and so we had to move, have it hosted at a larger church to accommodate for how many people would be there, which was really overwhelming.

Just all the support and everyone who had come to support our family and. It was very quick after that. We were very inspired by that support and we wanted to give back. It's once [00:47:00] we experienced this type of loss, we didn't realize the other people that we knew in our lives that had experienced this type of loss and becoming aware of that and how much it, it happens and there needs to be support.

We wanted to give back in that way. And so we decided we wanted to provide grief support to families who lose a child. We also Kayleigh had just graduated high school from the Village's charter school and started college and pursuing art, and we wanted to start a memorial scholarship in her honor and.

She loves art and music and having fun and getting together. And so the we have an annual Love of life festival. We had a kickoff and thank You Party in 2021. And we announced our [00:48:00] plans for our foundation and how they had all been an inspiration for us starting the foundation in Catherine's honor to tell her story and bring her light to the world.

And that was like a mini version of what we envisioned would turn into our love of life festival. And this upcoming March 7th, 2026, we have our fifth Annual Love of Life Festival and it is near the villages at the Grand Oaks Resort. Ryan plays his saxophone. We've done a duet, I've played the flute with him in past years, and it's turned into a place where people can come and celebrate and life and those that they've lost.

Last year we had a remembrance wall and we encouraged people to [00:49:00] bring photos of their children that they've lost, and we invited them to say their name, come to the stage and say their name. It was incredibly moving and hard. We think it's really important to say their name, to bring them into the now and create new memories with them.

With Kayleigh, 'cause there's times and memories that we've had after she's passed that were like, oh, was she there? No, she wasn't there. We were just talking about her, thinking about her. And it's my mom. So it's made up of our family. We started this foundation and like from the ground up, my mom has her master's degree in accounting.

Both my parents are really entrepreneurial people. And so we just dug into it and figured it out. And how do you become a 5 0 1 C3 and what do you have to do? And all the [00:50:00] things. And we have board meetings. Yeah, my mom, my dad, my two brothers, Ryan and Avery, Roger Avery are significance.

Steve and Sam and my Aunt Elizabeth, who I'm named after, and we make up the board.

And after she died, I was searching for answers. I wanted to know why. Maybe there's a clue. Like I felt like she was so angelic and beautiful throughout her whole life and really lived to the fullest. I think maybe a part of her knew she might not live forever, which is a strange thing to say. Or she told me once that she's gonna die young and I don't understand.

She was very young and crying and she's just a little dramatic person. So I was like, well, that's not today. What do you wanna do today? Let's go. But she wrote these like sayings and poems and so keep laughing, keep dancing, keep singing. We would read her. Her entries and it's like she was speaking to us and mottos [00:51:00] life mottos.

And so that's on our website. Keep laughing, keep dancing, keep singing. I think it has been helpful thinking about the light and love and that she brought into her every day. I really, she was so raw and so real and lived out her emotions. Let herself really release and live in a way that's inspiring.

And and we wanna share that with others. She has so much art and paintings and we wanna take them and figure out how we can sell them. For donations for our foundation we add new artwork to the t-shirts every year we have shirts that we make every year for the festival, and they have logos on the front and the sleeves and on the back, the first year we put a photo of Kayleigh with her quote. If any flame could burn forever, it would be our own as light, as bright as a star, as light as a [00:52:00] feather.

You'll never be alone. And it captures a lot there, and it's beautiful. So we have it on the back of our shirts. We have the butterfly and our yellow logo. And in inter weaving, the wan, the signs into. The development of the foundation and the community and the people we get to meet and the different stories and how unique everyone's losses are.

Every family we get to support through this. I think if we're lucky, we'll all experience such big grief. It means we've loved someone so deep.

SS Season 8- Episode 3 Elizabeth- Ryan View: Yeah. On the contrary, I feel like the, like obviously our foundation has helped like others a whole bunch, and it's definitely helping us too, I think, and me personally with just being able to go through these emotions as a more [00:53:00] normal thing and not being so overwhelmed by it every time.

Because you go through the stages over and over, even five years later.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Yes.

SS Season 8- Episode 3 Elizabeth- Ryan View: But it's definitely, there are so many emotions tied to this foundation and we all feel so strongly towards it that there are times when we're in a board meeting and it gets a little heated 'cause we all feel so passionate about what we're talking about.

And it can be really hard to just keep our, like our view and on the goal and the bigger picture about what we're trying to achieve here. But that being said, like I think being able to work through those moments where we're all clashing and bumping heads and it feels impossible to communicate and. I think being able to work through that [00:54:00] is what's helping us grow even more. So yeah.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: That's amazing. Yeah. You feel like doing this together. You all have different things you wanna contribute and different things that might be important, you're communicating through your grief. Look, a lot of families, the majority of the people that are listening to this. They are not a tight-knit group after such a loss.

I think you guys probably know that 'cause you see that. But it's not the norm that people come on this show and say, as a family, we started a foundation together. That's not the norm. Right. It's very different. So I think you guys should be really proud of yourselves for doing this. And I think it's really wonderful.

And I do think it, it would be healing, right? The stuff, the work that I've done for the past four years has been extremely healing for me. But I'm not doing it as a family. And I think that's amazing. I think that's a gift. And I think that's a testament to how close you are as a family, and I think that's really wonderful.

Tell us tap back into that again, Elizabeth, before I start to close this out. When is your event in 2026, just so people know.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Yeah. March 7th. It's a full day [00:55:00] event. We've got bands playing all day. My husband's band is coming from Chicago and art vendors. Lots of fun activities. It's a great time. Feel free to come out. It is free donation at your wish to attend. 

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: This is for Florida people?

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: get there. Yeah. In Florida, in North Central Florida, in Weirs, Florida.

Near the villages near Ocala, north of Orlando.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: We have a lot of siblings from Florida, so if you guys are interested, you can reach out. We'll talk about where to reach out in just a moment. But as we come to a close, Elizabeth, and Ryan, anything that we didn't touch on that you wanna share with the audience? Again, it's all surviving siblings just like you that are listening to this.

So any, anything I didn't ask you or we didn't touch on that you wanna share with our audience?

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: I feel like I'm very glad [00:56:00] that we did this. I don't remember, I, listening to my brothers talk about it, like this is special and things that we get out, take out takeaways and it's hard to articulate and to remember. And grief does wild things to your brain. And it's a forever journey and I'm glad to be with it.

With on this journey with my surviving siblings.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: What about you, Ryan? Anything you wanna add?

SS Season 8- Episode 3 Elizabeth- Ryan View: That was beautifully put. Grief is something that, is always a constant journey, 

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: yes. Definitely. Again, your foundation is the Catherine Lee th Land Foundation, right? And tell us the website, of course. We'll put all this in the show notes and email where can people find you and reach out to you about your upcoming event and your offerings. Of course.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Absolutely. Please check us out [00:57:00] on online, on all the socials. We're on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube at KLT Foundation, www.kltfoundation.com. Our Love of Life Festival also has separate pages on Facebook and Instagram. If you type in Love of Life Festival you'll be able to find it there.

All the information within our website. We also are collecting resources and as each of us siblings and my parents and family read new books and podcasts like the Surviving Siblings Podcast and meet different therapists and things, we'll be adding to our resources page and. We have more plans with our foundation and it's still just the beginning.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: I completely understand that. Thank you guys so much for sharing [00:58:00] Kayleigh with us and her story and what you guys have done in honor of her. I think it's really beautiful and I think, like you said, you're just getting started, which is amazing. So thank you guys for being here today. I appreciate it.

SS Season 8- Ep 3 Elizabeth View: Thank you so much. I feel like Kayleigh's been here with us too.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: Yeah,

SS Season 8- Episode 3 Elizabeth- Ryan View: Yeah. Thank you.

SS8 Episode 3- Elizabeth- Maya View: My pleasure guys. 

Thank you so much for listening to the Surviving Siblings Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode as much as I did creating it for you, then share it on your chosen social media platform. And don't forget to tag us at Surviving Siblings Podcast so that more surviving siblings can find us. Remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast.

And don't forget to follow us on all social media platforms. We're on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at Surviving Siblings Podcast. All links can be found in the show notes, so be sure to check those out too. [00:59:00] Thank you again for the support. Until the next episode, keep on surviving my surviving siblings.