In this deeply emotional episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Kayla, a bereaved sibling who lost her baby sister, Ashley, in a tragic and unexpected medical event in 2006. At just eleven years old, Kayla’s world changed forever when her one-and-a-half-year-old sister suddenly stopped breathing—an event that would later be revealed as a preventable tragedy.
Kayla opens up about the deep bond she shared with Ashley, the impact of her sister’s passing on their entire family, and how grief shaped her childhood, teenage years, and adulthood. She shares the devastating realization that Ashley’s death was caused by a misdiagnosed medical condition and how the hospital’s oversight led to a prolonged struggle for answers and justice.
This episode explores the complexities of grieving at a young age, how Kayla’s family navigated immense loss, and the lifelong journey of healing. Kayla also discusses the anxiety and trauma that followed, the lasting effects of sibling loss, and how she has found strength in sharing her story for the first time.
If you’ve ever experienced loss at a young age or struggled to process grief over the years, Kayla’s story will remind you that healing is possible, and you are not alone.
In This Episode:
(00:01:09) – The Role of a Big Sister Kayla reflects on growing up as the oldest sibling and the deep love she had for her younger sisters, Mia and Ashley.
(00:02:41) – When Ashley Got Sick Kayla recalls the months leading up to Ashley’s passing, the concerning symptoms, and the repeated hospital visits where doctors misdiagnosed her condition.
(00:06:20) – The Day That Changed Everything Kayla describes the morning she learned about Ashley’s passing and the shock of hearing the news from her father and stepmother.
(00:12:00) – Attending School the Next Day Despite the tragedy, Kayla insisted on going to school, determined to maintain her perfect attendance and a sense of normalcy in the chaos of grief.
(00:15:22) – Ashley’s Funeral Kayla shares the surreal experience of attending her sister’s funeral, seeing Ashley one last time, and the heartbreaking traditions her family developed to honor her memory.
(00:18:00) – The Truth Behind Ashley’s Passing Weeks later, the autopsy revealed that Ashley had been choking on a peanut for months—something doctors had missed in her chest x-ray.
(00:22:30) – The Aftermath: Lawsuits & Family Divides Kayla details how the misdiagnosis led to legal action against the hospital, the ripple effects it had on her family, and how relationships were fractured as blame and guilt took over.
(00:35:00) – The Long-Term Impact of Grief Kayla discusses how losing Ashley at such a young age led to severe anxiety, control issues, and the fear of losing loved ones, as well as how therapy and medication have helped her manage these struggles.
(00:47:00) – Healing & Moving Forward Years later, Kayla’s family has slowly started to mend. She shares how her father overcame addiction, her stepmother found ways to honor Ashley, and how she has learned to navigate life after loss.
(00:56:00) – Advice for Young Bereaved Siblings Kayla reflects on what she would tell her younger self and encourages others to allow themselves to grieve, seek support, and embrace the healing process.
This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings
Connect with Kayla:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kayla.updike?mibextid=ZbWKwL
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaylaupdike?igsh=MTBuNHdtcjNvMzhlMw==
Connect with Maya:
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/
Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast
Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod
Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com
Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast
