Brennan Loses Jackson To A Storm Accident

Brennan Loses Jackson To A Storm Accident- Podcast
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SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: [00:00:00] Today I have, of course, another incredible surviving sibling with me. I wanna welcome Brennan to the show. Brennan, welcome.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Hi guys. Thanks for having me, Maya.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: It is my pleasure. Today, Brennan is going to be sharing about her brother Jackson, who she lost back in 2019. So Brennan, before we go into how you lost Jackson, and quite [00:01:00] an incredible story you have for us today, take us back to childhood with Brennan Jackson, your family. Tell us a little bit about you guys.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah, so we grew up in the Mississippi Delta very small town. Jackson and I were six years apart. Uh, and we had that typical sibling dynamic. We definitely argued, I was the big sister that, wanted things a certain way, always perfect. And he was the tornado that came through that wanted to mess everything up.

But our parents got divorced when we were 14, so when I was 14. And so when they got divorced, Jackson spent most of the time splitting between the two houses. I, most of the time stayed with my mom. Um, so I think that during the divorce, that had a lot of strain on our relationship. He couldn't understand, you know, why I didn't wanna go stay with my dad or why I wanted to be with my mom.

And even though he had the same, choice. So, fast forward, you know, to college, you know, our [00:02:00] relationship starts to, you know, grow a little bit. Like we still have our moments of, banter and, the argumentative side and just, and then those, the sweet sides as well. He is a country boy. Through and through. I was definitely more of the outgoing, wanted to like, go to the parties, have fun stuff like that. My brother was the one that wanted to take over the family business, like help my dad with his work. Just your typical southern boy, uh, thing, like he truly loved, uh, hunting, being out in the outdoors, working hard, like that kind of stuff.

So,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah, and I'm sure, yeah, I'm sure it was really challenging because you did have an age gap, you said, what, six years between the two of you? So I mean, you being the elder sibling, which you know I can connect with.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: You picked mom and you were with mom, and that's where you aligned. And then coming from a broken home, which I can relate [00:03:00] to as well.

He has a different perspective. Right. Kind of bouncing between the two homes, and I'm sure managing those relationships I'm sure that was a lot. And that was heavy for

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: relationships with each, like we both had very significantly different relationships with our parents.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Right. Yeah. So, and you mentioned that it evolved a little bit when you went off to college. So he was still, I mean, he was still quite young when you went off

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah. So when I got to college, he, he was entering, uh, high school. So with him going into high school, he was definitely like maturing a little bit more and coming into his. Adulthood, I guess. So there were, we were able to bond over similar, things like as all our lives. Like I was exiting a like time, a time period in my life when he was like entering that same experience.

So he couldn't always wrap his head around that. I did understand where he was coming from or understanding the things that he was going through and like wanting to be [00:04:00] there for him or like, hey, being the big sister that's like, hey, we probably shouldn't do this 'cause this is what could happen. And him not understanding, Hey, let me live my life.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: As older siblings we totally understand that because we think we know better. Right. And in a lot of cases we do, but we don't know it. All right?

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Absolutely.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah. So tell us a little bit, take us forward in time then. So, take us to 2019, which is when you lost your brother Jackson. So tell us a little bit about what life was like in 2019 for you guys.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah. So in 2019, the year started out pretty normal. Jackson was working for an electrician. He was in college at this point. He was working to get, he wanted to become a lineman, so, he was looking into go into school for that. Uh, we probably hadn't talked to each other in about six months. Leading up to his passing.

We had gone on the [00:05:00] lake probably back in. September of the year before, like our last little family lake trip with my dad and everything. And then I saw him at Thanksgiving in 2018, and that was actually the last time that I saw him before he passed June 19th. It was a Wednesday. I got a phone call from my dad.

It was storming really bad in the Miss V Delta and I was just thinking my dad was calling to check on me. He typically does. I'd usually, I bartended so I would work late nights and things like that. I got the phone call about 10 30 and I answer it, it's my dad, and he's just screaming he's screaming that my brother is dead.

You need to, you need to come here right now. And my initial reaction was like. What are you, hold on, hold on. What are you talking about? Have you called the police? Have you called 9 1 1? He's frantically screaming. Yes. Yes. What are they [00:06:00] gonna do? They're not gonna be able to do anything.

I need you to get here right now. Well, luckily I had a friend over and he had actually, ironically lost his brother probably six years prior, um, to a very crazy car accident. Um, and it was a, it was crazy. I looked at him and I said, my brother is dead. And he looked at me and said, get in the truck.

And we got in the truck and drove. I was only lived about, uh, 35 minutes away from my dad just the town over. But with the storm and how badly everything was, all the trees and power lines and stuff down, it took us about an hour and a half to get there. As we were on our way there, I kept calling, 9 1 1.

I kept calling the sheriff's department. My friend was calling his contacts with the sheriff's department. In a small town, everybody kind of knows everybody. So you have your first responders and phone numbers most of the time. So we're both calling, just texting, [00:07:00] trying to get in touch with someone.

I mean, it we're, we weren't talking to each other the whole way there. Like we were both on the phone just trying to get in touch. We're not having any luck. By the time we get there, we can't even pull, like my driveway to my dad's house is probably a quarter of a mile, like once you turn off the road into the driveway and.

We couldn't even get through the gate. When you turned into the driveway, all you saw were just trees down everywhere. And so as soon as we got out of the truck, I don't even think it stopped. I jumped out and just started running. I mean, it was still pouring down rain, couldn't see anything. There were a couple firefighters there, but the full first responders had not shown up yet.

Mostly because, uh, there were two entrance to where my dad lived. He lived out in the middle of nowhere. So the main entrance that the GPS will typically take you the bridge has been out for years and had not been replaced. And my, when my dad called 9 1 1, he told them not to go that [00:08:00] way. They still took that way.

So the other way around past the airport, it was flooded, so it took them even longer to get through there. I was coming from the completely opposite direction, so I had no trouble. So I get out, I start running, I find my dad, I mean, he's shivering, he's shaking. I just remember how cold he was. I remember how just like soaking wet.

It looked like he had just gotten out of the lake. I grab him, hug him. He's just crying. We get him in a truck and turn the heat on. I mean, it's the middle of summer. It's June in Mississippi, Delta, so you know, it's humid. But with all that rain and stuff, your body is just in shock and just freezing. So,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: I wanna like pause you here though for everyone listening because you've done such an amazing job about sharing like what's happening. But I want everyone to know there was obviously a major storm coming through here, like that's what was going on. And so [00:09:00] as you're arriving and as your data is sharing this information, like you're kind of in the midst of like, what storm was this Brennan?

Like what was happening at that time? Like was it a major storm that we know about or was it just kind of a freak thing or what was happening? Just to kind of paint the picture for us. Yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: it was a freak thing. The all the news channels were saying that the winds and the tornadoes, there was a tornado watch. The news channels and everything were saying that the winds were coming out of a completely opposite direction than what they actually were. And leading up to the accident, we had a lot of rain.

So the, where my dad's house is, it sits on a creek bank. And, with all that rain and the Mississippi mud, it just softens and softens. And when my brother and my dad got a tornado warning on their phone, they went to the front door of the house. We're about to evacuate. My dad turns around and runs to the other room, probably about eight feet away to grab our family dog [00:10:00] and grabs him, turns around, and as he's turning around, he said it sounds, he hears this explosion.

And it's a tree that goes through the straight, through the middle of the house, lands through the front door where my brother was standing. 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Waiting for your dad to come back with the dog so that they could evacuate.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: so they could leave. Yeah. So he, immediately stops what he's doing and starts digging. There's nothing that he could do. And when he called me, he was in the midst of, digging and trying to get him out of there. And it was just hard. Like, he just, he couldn't, I, I mean, I believe, without a doubt, my dad fought for everything that he could to try.

But with, with that storm coming through it, it ended up being, there were five big oak trees that had fallen down in our yard. The main one that hit the house it was right behind the house on the creek bank, and the winds hit it just right with, especially with after all that rain, the soil was so wet.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: [00:11:00] Like you were mentioning earlier, the softening of the soil. And so it hit and then it came. Wow.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Completely uprooted. I mean, all these trees, they didn't snap in half. They were completely uprooted. And the tornado never physically touched the ground. It was like, it hit, it, came over the trees and just ripped it and just fell.

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SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: know,

That night it was just, it was crazy. It kind of felt like I was in a movie.

Like it didn't seem real at first. I don't think it, it really set in until after the funeral because it was just such a like freak accident. I mean, we grew up all our lives train, like not training, but taking, doing drills for this kind of stuff in school, at home. Like I remember being a child and us having to go living in that house and us having to go out to the bridge at the end of our driveway and like take cover under there because there was a warning and we slept out there outside, underneath the bridge all night, waiting, just in case like it wasn't new to us to take cover and to be aware of storms coming through.

Like that's very common in the miss in the Mississippi and I'm sure like really in the south

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yes, I'm from the south too, so I get it. Yeah. Midwest south, yeah. Between the hurricanes and the tornadoes, you know what you're doing. I [00:14:00] wanna ask you this just a little to bring a little levity and then I wanna go back to where we were earlier. 'cause I took you off track a little bit.

But do you remember doing those tornado drills in school? Or maybe I think I'm older than you Brennan, but like, do you remember where they would have us like in the hallway with the books and like, so Okay. Yeah. To talked with our books or like under the desk and I'm like, what the, like looking back as adults, aren't you

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: this really save

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: would that would've Right.

Like what would that have done? Right. Like what you guys were doing under the bridge and stuff. Like for sure, that's a different story, but like our book or our desk or the hallway. But that have really, I don't know. Right. Do

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Right.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: a little bit? I was like,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: percent remember that. Yeah. Like I think they would always say that the walls are so reinforced that they would protect us. I'm like, these walls would fall down on us

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: I think that was a way for them to like train us a little bit and. If it did happen, keep us from maybe all storming out of the school and like running for an actual bridge or something. Right. I had to bring a little levity to [00:15:00] that for sure. I was like, sure. I was like, maybe Brennan remembers this too.

'cause I do, 'cause I look back on stuff and kind of laugh 'cause I'm like pretty sure the only safe space is like really like a basement or like a hatch area. Where you actually are like, a safety zone. But no, thank you for sharing that. I just wanted to give all of our incredible listeners like that context because you were just so beautifully describing like the emotion and your father, so your father, so to tie this together, your father was calling you as he was trying to dig your brother out.

Oh my God. So you show your friend again. I think these people are in our lives for these like magical reasons, right Brendan? So, right. So your friend is. Ironically, your friend is there with you or divine intervention, whatever we believe in taking you there. You jump outta the car, you, your dad's there.

He's shivering in June, which I'm a southern girl. Okay. It's, we're in a heat, uh, situation right now as we're recording this in August. So, yeah. So then you are there with your dad and what's going on? Like, is your brother still [00:16:00] trapped when you get there? There's responders there. What's, go, tell us what's happening at that moment.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: So when I get there, yes, uh, my brother is still trapped underneath the tree. I mean, he

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: And you saw this,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: definitely passed. I couldn't see him or like, I wasn't close enough to the tree to realize like what part of the house it was necessarily yet, anything like that. Just when I found my dad, we got him, in the truck there.

He's contained, calmed down for a moment. I have to take a moment. I literally, I remember just going and like finding a, ironically, a tree that's still standing in the yard and just kicking it over and over again. And just like thinking to myself, what, what is going on? What happened? How did we get here?

And then my friend who had gotten me there, he comes and he grabs me and he goes, you need to pull together and you need to go be there for your dad right now. So I pulled it together and I went and got in the truck with my dad, and [00:17:00] I just sat there and just held him. Just held him my mom and all this.

She worked, uh, three and a half hours away in Natch, just Mississippi. At the time I did not know if she knew or if my dad had called her. I just knew I couldn't call her. I got, I couldn't, I was like, my plan was to tell her tomorrow, the next day. That was my plan. Like, I didn't have a plan, but that was the little bit of the plan that I had.

It turns out my dad did call her. She was on her way, but she definitely was in denial, did not believe it. Once the firemen and the coroner showed up and uh, they were able to finally get my brother from underneath the tree it was probably 3:00 AM I got the call at 10 30, so we were there for a while.

The plan after that was to go to the hospital. My mom refused to go anywhere else. She refused to meet us anywhere else. She was going to the hospital. So we all loaded up in the truck and went straight to the hospital.[00:18:00] 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: But let me ask you this, Brendan, before we go to the hospital, when they were moving the tree and moving the, were you there for all of this and you were seeing this happen? Or like what was your,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: So I, I wasn't able to see like, because of all the trees that were down, there were multiple trees in front of the house that I couldn't see them actually getting him out. It was more so I was just trying to calm my dad down and not even look in that direction. They wouldn't even let us go up to a certain point to the house.

Like, 'cause when I first gotten there, I'd ran out and I'd gone all the way up to like, almost where I thought like the front porch was, but there was a tree in the way. And that's when they were pushing me back and like, I had my dad and grabbed him and then we went and got into the truck. So we pretty, we just sat in the truck the entire time.

Slowly but surely, people started to show up that knew my dad, that were family, that knew like us because some of the first responders were also my brother's friends, my [00:19:00] dad's friends, and hard on them. Hard on them.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: You're from a small town. Everybody knows everybody. I totally get that. Yeah. I was just curious because I can't even imagine how traumatizing that part of this, even if you couldn't see it, you just know that's going on, so, right, right. Okay. So you guys pile in and you go to the hospital.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: we go to the hospital. We're probably there for about 15 minutes before my mom shows up. I remember her getting there and I think she saw straight through me. Honestly. It was like a one track mind. Where's my son? Like, where is he screaming? Where is he? Luckily, so we had some like family friends there that like grabbed her and is consoling her.

I'm just standing there like away from everybody. 'cause I didn't know what to do. Like, it was just like one of those things, like they're consoling my, everybody's consoling my parents and I'm just like, I'm okay at this moment, but I don't know. [00:20:00] What's going on? I don't know what I need to do. I don't know what, like, who I need to be in this moment.

And I remember, like, we were all there for probably 30 minutes and then this part's a blur somehow. We just all decided we were gonna go part ways. Everybody's gonna go to their hotel home, whatever. I went to my cousin's house with my dad. We didn't sleep. We never went to sleep. I think once we finally got there, my dad just started calling everybody he could think of at three, four o'clock in the morning, calling everybody, telling them what happened and just screaming, crying as he's telling them.

And then the next morning we meet at the, we meet back at the house at probably like 7 30, 8 30, sunny. It's so sunny and so hot. Rainbows, everywhere. I mean. But like pulling up in that driveway and just seeing. The house and seeing the damage. It was just like something out of a movie truly something out of a [00:21:00] movie.

I remembered like avoiding the front porch and avoiding the front door which you couldn't get into the house that way. You either had to climb up like through one of the, like side walls, but the back porch was still intact. So I walked through the back door and through the house and like we gathered, we salvaged what we could, like furniture, clothes, anything in the house that we could, because it was mostly the living room, dining room, kitchen, and my brother's bedroom that were smashed.

So yeah, I just avoided the front area until they got the backhoe in there like pretty early that morning to tear it all out. So that myself nor none of my family had to like, see anything especially in the daylight.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: So let me ask you this too, Brandon. So did you guys, because you know I've, some people listening may have been through an experience with a tornado or a hurricane. This is very, these are kind of similar things that happen in how houses get destroyed. Did you guys, when you went back that [00:22:00] morning, did you have to get the, okay, because I've heard that from people before.

We've obviously never told a story on this show before about losing a sibling, but I've definitely known people being a southern gal like you, like we are not it's not the first time we've experienced like a hurricane or a tornado or something that will take our house out, right. So, which is very unfortunate, but it's a part of being in this environment.

But, sometimes there's been like a, you can't go there until this, so did you have to get a, an all clear or like, because it could be dangerous sometimes to go in when, right.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: To my knowledge, no. I remembered us just changing clothes and immediate, no, I don't even think we changed clothes, actually. I think we just went with what we had on our backs and just showed up. Now the detective and everybody, they were there the night before, after it happened.

Questioning my dad, doing the whole their due diligence for sure. But I almost am positive I remember them saying, okay, I got everything I need to know. Y'all are, free to go at that point. And the next morning, yeah, we just [00:23:00] showed up. There was nobody showed up, like asking us questions like what we were doing besides just family and friends there to bring in their equipment to like, help us tear the house down and remove the trees and

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah. And the storm had PA settled and passed at that point too, so you guys were clear to go in. But it's you said this so well earlier. It is like a movie. It's like, you go through all this chaos and then you go, I'm sure that's how you felt as well that day when you went in and it's like, like, no, like, pun intended, I guess, or something around those lines.

But like the dust did settle for you and then you go back in there and it's like, and so while this is happening, Brennan, your brother is in the hospital still, right? Or they had, they declared him.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: They, he, they declared him dead on site, but the the funeral home was closed. They, for some reason, they could not intake him to the funeral home. They had to take him to the hospital to keep him overnight. My mom never saw him that night. He was not in any shape to be seen. He was, declared [00:24:00] deceased at the scene for sure.

They said it was instant, like there's no, there was no preventing it or saving him in that sense. But my mom did demand to see him, and she did. After, I mean, they bandaged him up and did what they could do to make him presentable for her. I couldn't, I, there was no way.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah. I get it. I totally get it. Yeah. So you guys are at the house getting what you can. What happened next? What happened next? Did you guys have a celebration of life, a funeral? Like what? What were the days afterwards like? Because what a whirlwind, like your father and your brother are just evacuating because of a tornado and your whole life's changed forever.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: After that, the next day, we cleaned up everything that we could at the house. I think around two o'clock that afternoon, we went to the funeral home. My parents couldn't. [00:25:00] Agree on what they wanted to do, let alone like really function in that moment. I knew that my brother wanted to be cremated him and I had talked about it, briefly before, my mom really wanted that.

My dad really wanted him buried, so it was a lot of back and forth of what are we gonna do? And I just kind of took charge. I don't know what came over me. I just told them they needed to keep their mouth closed.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Uh, I know what came over you. Eldest child syndrome, as I like to call it. Guilty.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: I did it. My mom and I, like we were the biggest thing that trouble that we had, the biggest thing that we had trouble, like deciding what we were gonna do is where we were gonna hold the funeral, like hold the services, all the memorial, all that. 'Cause we weren't gonna do an open casket. He was gonna be cremated.

And. That'd be that. Well, we ended up having the funeral at a Baptist church. It was the largest church in the area. They set, I think their max [00:26:00] capacity was 500. Sat 500 in their sanctuary. And that was also the church that my brother, went to Sunday school with our nanny and our papapa.

That's who he went to church with. That was their church. I grew up going to that church as well. So it just kind of made sense. And we had a longtime family friend, a friend of a childhood friend of mine's dad, who was the preacher there, used to be the preacher there. He was now he was gonna do the funeral possession for us and everything.

So we did that. It ended up being a standing room. Only every seat in there was full. So then I would say about probably 200 more people were standing up in the back areas of the church.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Wow. Wow.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: It was crazy when my mom said that we would need a bigger venue. I was like, really? You think that many people are gonna come?

She was like, yeah. And I was like, okay. I just wasn't expecting it, I just really wasn't.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: But did you feel like I would feel so touched if

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Oh, it [00:27:00] was,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: up. Were you like, okay mom, you were snaps to mom like you were right? Like yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Absolutely. And like seeing some of my high school friends, like a lot of my high school friends had smaller, had younger siblings as well, that actually graduated with my brother. They were in the same class, grew up together. So it's like we all grew up together. They showed up and, showed their respects to me and my family and, I hate how funerals bring people, to together when ones that you haven't seen in years and stuff like that.

But it is nice to get to see and like catch up and kind of reminisce on. The old days especially.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah. I love that you said that. I don't know if I've really talked about that a lot on an episode before Brendan, but that's a good thing to dial in on your episode because it is such a I guess bittersweet is a way we'll say it here, but like it's it's more bitter than sweet, I would say.

The fact that like, it has to take a loss like that. But I've experienced that as well with other losses. We didn't have a big funeral for my [00:28:00] brother, which you. Guys know from listening to my story, but had, we, I've listened to incredible stories like yours, and I just know there were so many people that felt a little cheated out of that.

But at the end of the day, it was my family's decision and it is what it is. And like, but knowing that there were that many people that wanted that, like the messages were so overwhelming that I received. So I can definitely like, put myself in your shoes and feel that like, it's a moment, right?

It's a moment. But like I was saying, little more emphasis on the bitter than the sweet because it's like, oh my God, like I totally get what you're saying. Like it takes this kind of tragedy to bring us all together. It and death in general and a loss like what we've all been through, all of you guys listening, and of course Brendan and I losing a sibling, it just puts life into a whole different perspective for

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. It definitely does, and I think people really underestimate how much [00:29:00] grief truly does change somebody.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah, absolutely. So you have this funeral for your brother and standing room only. I love it.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Standing remotely.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Jackson. And so tell us what happened after. How are you doing? How do you know you've got a divorced parent dynamic? There's a lot going on here, so walk us through what happened after you had this incredible celebration, which is difficult, right?

But

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: you see how loved he was, how loved he is, right? Like,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: but to see it for other people can be a really interesting and cool experience,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: definitely is. Definitely is. It's kind of exhilarating almost.

Yeah, so the days, after it was weird. We had his funeral on a Sunday. I was typically off work on Mondays, but we typ, we ended up having like, it was like the baseball World series that year or something, or the [00:30:00] playoffs or something like that.

And so the restaurant that I worked at, we ended up having a small, like little. Baseball party. I went, I needed to get outta the house. Everybody had left. Like all my friends that had come to town as well had left. And I was like, I'm not ready to be completely alone, but I really don't wanna be surrounded by everybody.

So, like the restaurant that I worked at, there were areas for me to go and still watch the game and like be away, that kind of thing. So I immediately did that and I went back to work on Tuesday. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't feel like it was, uh, uh, initially I wasn't sure if I was a allowed to take time, more than what I already had.

Like, I just had a whole weekend off that was unheard of in the restaurant industry, like had four days off, I need to get back to work.

So, uh, I went back to work and immediately started helping my dad rebuilt

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: That was my next question. I was like, [00:31:00] what was going on with dad's house? So, yeah, you just stole the thoughts outta my head. That's perfect. Yeah. So, wow. Okay.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: so my dad's plan was to rebuild. He wanted to do, it was a mobile, tr mobile home that we lived in originally that he had the plan when they got that mobile home was to build a house. It was just temporary. But then my parents got divorced. Yeah, so he wanted to do a metal building and so that was the plan.

Uh, we sat, he sat down with some buddies while he was staying, there for a couple days and the weeks after, like, 'cause he didn't necessarily have a place to stay. They drew up some plans of kind of how he wanted it. He wanted the exact same layout of the house, I get it. So that's essentially what we did.

I spent the next two and a half years building, and, right after 2020 is when COVID hit. So it was harder to build. It was, it was harder to find supplies. Things were super expensive. So it took a minute. I never, I seriously [00:32:00] never thought it was gonna end.

Really didn't.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: I'm sure. I finished out a new build house in 2020 and it was a journey, my friend, it was a journey. So I understand. I mean, he was starting fresh too. I can't even imagine everything. I mean, lumber was up, everything was, I mean, it was, uh, it was a journey for me. Trust me. So I get it.

I can't, and then to be grieving, I was not freshly grieving at the time. I was grieving. I always say we're grieving, but like he was fresh in grief. You were fresh in grief and the pandemic hit, and that was something that stood out to me about your story too. It's like 2019 you lost your brother in a way that has nothing to do with COVID, but you were actively grieving going into the start of the pandemic.

I mean, you're fresh in your grief, right? I mean, like, let's be real. Nine months after you lost your brother COVID hit. I mean, that's a lot of trauma to be going through. It's a lot for your family.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: yeah. No, definitely. Without a [00:33:00] doubt.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: So when did the house finally get the finishing touch? When did it, I'm curious.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: So we finished it in 2021.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: That's awesome.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yes. 2021. I believe it was fall of 2021. He moved back in. And so ready to rock and roll, obviously like little things here and there, but it was ready to be lived in for sure. So yeah, he moved back in. I took that next probably maybe it was six months.

I really didn't have a plan. I got a phone call. My mom decided that she was gonna take some time away from work af in, in between the house being finished. And then the February that I got a phone call from her asking me to move across the country. She had taken some time from work and 'cause she went back to work immediately and two, and then it, life just started, it started to take its toll.

There were a lot of things that happened in that time that, really affected her and she needed the time away. [00:34:00] She needed the time to step away. My mom was in a very like demanding job, chief financial officer of a casino. So

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: a very demanding job. And then she went through the pandemic in that role.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: yes,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Whoa.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: sure did.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: A lot.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: She sure did. So in between that time, she took some time to herself. She went to Minnesota and stayed with her sister for a little while, my aunt. And then she decided that she was thinking about moving to back to Vegas. She's originally from Las Vegas and that's how she got in the casino business.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: gonna say that makes sense now. Very cool. Okay.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: So, my uncle had a rental house available. She decided that she was gonna do it. She called me, she's like, I know you've been wanting to, kind of leave and get outta Mississippi and, try something new. And I was like, yeah. She's like, well, do you wanna come to Vegas? And I said, yeah.

I didn't even tell her I need to think about it. I said, yes. So the plan was for this to kind of be our joy journey, and we were gonna do it together. It was gonna be a [00:35:00] fresh start for her, a fresh start for me. So in two months I packed up. What I needed to pack up. I sold everything that, basically everything I owned and I drove across the country and moved out here.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: And this was in 2021.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: 2022.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: 2022. Yeah. So your dad got the house built? She took some time then. Oh my God, that's Wow. Okay. So, and how was that? So interesting. I love that we're talking about this, Brennan, and I love that you're sharing this because there's a lot of folks, I know you found me on TikTok. A lot of people find me on TikTok.

But you know, I, I do stuff on Instagram. I have a private Facebook group. There's a lot of resources as a lot of you guys know. There's, we have our private sharing group as well through Patreon. So like, I interact with people in all different ways, but a lot of folks, when they're newly bereaved, and when I say newly bereaved guys, I'm talking five years or less.

I'm not talking one, I'm not talking one day, okay? Like, newly bereaved is five years or less. That's what I've been informed of by therapists, by my incredible guests. So [00:36:00] there you go. But a lot of people will say to me, I think I need to move. I think I need to change a house. I think I need to change a city.

I think I need to. So I love that this is a part of your story because I think it can be quite inspirational for everyone listening, whether you thought about this, you think you might need to do this. So I am on the edge of my seat. How was this move for you? I wanna know.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: The move itself, like it was exhilarating. It was very exciting. Very scary. The past, I've lived here for three years now. I love Vegas. I love the person I have become since moving here. I love the growth that I have, done since being here as well. But it hasn't been the easiest three years either.

I spent the first two and a half years after my brother's passing, being there for my dad day in and day out. I mean, I was there helping him build that house weekly. And then now it's like, I just shifted gears and now I'm in a new city, but I'm there for [00:37:00] my mom. And at this point my mom's not working.

She's still taking her time and, it's hard to see your parents struggle, with their grief and with emotion and stuff like that. And I will say it's been, Ave had a front row seat, a front row seat, and seeing how differently my mom and my dad have grieved and handled things.

Is cra like crazy in the sense of like, it's just very different.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: us about that. I wanna hear about that, Brendan. I wanna hear about that. So tell us about that, because you so I wanna dial into this first and then we're gonna go off into that because this is something I hear about all the time and there's so many things in your story that I just think you guys listening are gonna appreciate.

But were saying, so I wanna dial into this first, then we're gonna split off into mom and dad and talk about the differences. But you were saying that going to Vegas has been exhilarating. It's been great, but it hasn't been the easiest. But I think that's okay. And I think [00:38:00] that's good because I think it's, I think it's growth and it's just another part of your chapter and I think it's really important that people hear this because while it might not have been the easiest thing, and it's not been the easiest three years.

Do you still feel like it was the right decision for you to start kind of fresh and start this journey? That's what I would ask you about this.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Absolutely. I wouldn't change it.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: See, and that like, when I get this question, like, should I start fresh? Should I move? And I'm like, if you feel that just like when your mom called, you knew, you were like, 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: it's time.

I needed a fresh, and I'm I think maybe you felt that way from just everything I'm taking in about your story. It's like you spent the time with your dad, you got to be with your dad and be with him grieving and help him rebuild. And it was kind of a nice progression and be like, okay, dad dad's rebuilt.

He's always gonna be grieving and that's gonna be a thing. But like, I was there for him. Maybe it's time for me to go be with mom now. Is that kind of what you went through, Brennan? Like, okay. I'm picking up what you're putting [00:39:00] down. Yeah. I'm picking up what you're putting

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: I went through. And just a side note on this too, I did a road trip before I had made the decision to move before it was even a thought about me moving the November before I got the phone call asking me to move.

So in 2021 I did a road trip to Colorado with a couple friends. And one of my things was I wanted to see a medium while I was out west and I went and saw a medium,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Oh, I wanna hear about this. Okay. So you went on a trip and you'd never been to Colorado

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: never had been to Colorado. Did a road trip with a couple friends, was going out there with a friend that lived there, and then I was switching and meeting another friend that lives there and going to visit them for a little bit. So I went, saw a medium. I did a lot of research trying to find one.

I just felt like I needed to just a little bit more understanding behind everything. Like where and direction for me on what to do, where to go. Like, how does [00:40:00] this, how do we move forward from here?

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Were you reaching I, first of all, I just wanna recommend you. I think it's so important. Look, we have people who listen to this show that are atheist, agnostic, all the way to super religious or perhaps spiritual. And that's what we pride ourselves on with this show is like, it's very inclusive from all backgrounds and stuff.

But I love that you shared that you did your research because I think regardless of what path or what whomever you're gonna go see for anything, whether it's. Therapy or a spiritual person, like a medium, do your research like that. So thank you for saying that. It always kills me when I'm on TikTok and people like come into the room and they're asking me questions like I'm a medium.

I'm like, please do your research. You're grieving. You're so raw. You know what I mean? Like so do your research. Protect yourself.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: we don't want false hope or false narrative either. I want it. I want it to be laid out straight in front of me what it is.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Absolutely.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: I had a hard time, I'm not gonna lie, I did have a hard time, [00:41:00] finding a medium in the area that I was gonna be in. I was in Colorado Springs.

I was looking, I found somebody, this man who he specialized in paranormal investigations as well as mediumship. So he did a lot more of his work and his business had to do with the paranormal investigations and like that kind of thing. But he did also offer this and he had like some good reviews.

So I did not reach out to him over any social media. I picked up the phone and called

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: My girl.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: yes,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: You guarded yourself. Yep.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: guarded myself. I just didn't want, I didn't want there to be any possibility of them, Googling anything. Like even if you Google my story, there's not a lot of, there's, there wasn't a lot of news coverage on it.

It was very like. Not non-existent almost. It was weird. And some of the stories that were there, they, it's misinformation. It says it happened in Texas, but all the details are talking about my brother and it's definitely not.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: So I went to him [00:42:00] and, there were hit or miss things definitely in, in the session, but there were a few things that stood out to me the most.

And those, probably those three or four main things, there was like, there's no way, like in the beginning of it he's like, I'm getting a lot of like head and upper body, like pain and trauma. That's, how my brother passed. Like, it immediately clicked. And then there were just some other instances where he's like, I'm, he made a promise to your dad.

Like he kept talking about this promise and that promise to my dad was that he promised my dad that he would. Tell take care of him. He'd be there for him. He'd, like, help with the business, help with the land. 'cause we have a pecan orchard like harvesting that each year and things like that.

So it just, it made sense, like, just weird things, and then one of the things at the end of it he's like, you're planning on moving, aren't [00:43:00] you? And I said, it's always been in the back of my mind, but it's, I've never, I haven't made any like, movement towards that. No. He's like, well, the place that you're thinking about moving to, you should definitely do it.

And the place that I was thinking about was Vegas. This is before my mom moved out here. Uh, my grandmother was

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: This was a, this was like in the back of you and he was bringing something out. See, I, when you go to someone who is gifted, I do believe, I personally do believe in that. I do.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: it was so strange. And so when my mom asked me, I think that's why I didn't hesitate, and I was like, yeah, I'm doing it.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: And you know what a lot of people would maybe think listening to this who are skeptics, which, because I think you should have skepticism because I think you do too, Brennan. There is a, there's skepticism in me, but I also believe, 'cause I do think people have this gift. I really

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: it's just, they're hard to find.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: They're hard to find.

But I think, and people could argue, well Brandon moved because, he told her this and no, I don't believe that at all. I [00:44:00] think you knew this. I think it was aligned. I think it was something, and I think when you're, when you see someone who has a gift about this and they're, it's a true gift.

I think it's just aligned. 'cause it's not like you had shared that with anybody. It's not like you had even shared it with your mom. You just kind of felt my time here is probably at the end. So.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: I think it's a gift, and I think it's really amazing. And I think it's really amazing the things that he shared about your brother too.

I mean, like, yeah, I connect with that. I don't know if you've heard this part of my episode when I went to see a medium, but it took me many years. Brennan, like you it took me many years and I, my brother's story was very public, right? So it's like I was very apprehensive. So I sent the inquiry and the booking from an email that nobody would ever know who I was.

And I talk about this on the first season, the first couple minutes or so, I, he was connecting with my grandparents that have passed and I did have a connection with them. And so it [00:45:00] was probably about the first five to 10 minutes, I'd have to go back and look at the recording now, but I was like, oh God, I, so I was like, okay, this is a wash.

I spent all this money, like whatever. 'cause I was so skeptic and you get so cynical when you lose someone, right? So it's like. You connect with that too, right? So it's like, so, and then all of a sudden it just, my brother came in like a force of nature and then it like blew my mind. I said nothing, the whole thing.

Anyway, I tell the whole story on the first season. So I don't like to bore you guys on other episodes with this, but I connect with you on this and I appreciate you sharing this and I appreciate you sharing that. It changed everything for me because I was like, wow. I mean, he just nailed it, and it just, I think it's amazing that you had that. I mean, like, it was like, wow, he knows what I'm like thinking and you're moving to Vegas and so I'm really happy for you, but I would love to hear too. So again, [00:46:00] advice again from Brennan and myself. Please do your research. If you're gonna go that

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Please.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: route, please do your research.

'cause not all are created equal. But you mentioned. Earlier. And like I told you, I wanted to dial in on this too, your mom and your dad and how they grieved so differently. And the other aspect you have too is like you're the only surviving sibling and we have so many people that listen to my lives, our groups, things like that.

And they're the only surviving sibling. So I love for you to do kind of two things for us. Brandon, if you don't mind, share a little bit about your dad and how he grieved as much as you're comfortable with. Because I mean it's, it sounds a lot like the rebuilding of the house. That was the grieving journey and the process for him and you were there for him during that.

And then your mom who's grieved differently and I'd love to like, was one more of a talker? Does one talk more about it? Does one do more? You know what I mean? I'd love to hear that. And then also kind of share with us what it's like being the only surviving, right? Because you don't have surviving siblings.

You are a [00:47:00] surviving sibling, but you don't have any other surviving siblings. And that's our group is, there's so many. Siblings out there like you, so if you could share a little bit of that, of your story, that'd be amazing.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah. So my dad, I feel like it's such a man thing sometimes. He didn't talk about it much. I mean, like, we would talk about Jackson, don't get me wrong. We do. But it's not like in the day to day, it was definitely like, I think we connected more. With him spending time with me. I think that's what he needed.

Like he wanted me near him. He wanted me to help him build this house. He wanted my opinion on things like he wanted me involved more than a daughter, typically would be building, their father's house.

He, uh, he's definitely not a talker. He definitely keeps to himself more. My mom, on the other hand, yes, we talk here and there, but I think I have a, I've [00:48:00] had a hard time bringing it up.

I think I've been terrified of making them cry, making them sad because their days have, majority of their days are so dark that when they do have, when we are having good days or good moments, it's hard for me to like, bring it up. And get into it with them sometimes. And I've, through the years I've also, realized that is not necessarily the best way to go about it, even for my own grief.

But that's how it was at the very beginning. Like, I would not call my mom and talk to her about it. They wouldn't call me and talk to me about it. It's like we were kind of afraid of upsetting each other, I feel like. But then when we would talk about it, like, it would be great, we'd have these stories, but we'd both, we'd all be boohooing crying and then it's like, okay, we gotta wipe our tears and, get back, center ourselves again.

My mom on the other hand too, like, she's taken a lot of [00:49:00] time off work. She has had a, struggled a lot with depression and with this, and which is a hundred percent understandable. Her and I have a very unique relationship. She's actually my stepmom. She's raised me from the time that I was six years old.

So she's my mom. My brother was her biological son.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Wow, Brennan. Wow, this is incredible. I did not know this. Oh my gosh. What a beautiful relationship

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Very much. She has been one of the most amazing people I've ever had in my life.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: For sure.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: I'm, I am blown away. Look, I mean, this is why you have to stay through the whole episode. 'cause you never know what we're gonna talk about. Brennan. How beautiful did she like officially adopt you? Or this has just been your mom and this is how you like, is this what a journey? I'm sorry, I have to

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: No, you're good. You're good. We

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: mom. We love you. What a

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: we love you, mom.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah,[00:50:00] 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: We never got to the official adoption. My dad and her got divorced when I was 14, or separated when I was 14.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: As you shared with us earlier. Wow. Oh my gosh.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: like, I, I went and chose to live with her. Like he knew she was my mom. Like he knew the relationship that I had with her and like, that's my mom.

Like it

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: But I'm even more, I'm even more impressed with your dad and your mom about that. You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, that's, wow.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: crazy, huh.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: It's a beautiful part of the story. Yeah. 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: So it's been really, she's been amazing. And I think like that's been a, that was a huge fear at first, was like, where do I play into all of this now that there's nothing tying her to me necessarily, that was just like an instant irrational fear that I had.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: that's why I wanted to dive into this a little bit deeper. Yeah. So you felt a little bit from what you're sharing, you felt a little bit like, okay, my brother was a biological connection,

[00:51:00] So is this gonna change things with my mom? And it clearly did not.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: It didn't, it definitely didn't. I struggled being lonely at first because like, I wanted my parents to be there for me too. Like, I wanted the effort to come to me instead of just being from me. So like that also tied in with just like having a hard time talking about it with them too, was like, I didn't feel like my grief would necessarily be up to par the same level.

'cause it's not, but it is, 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: right.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: So, 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: how did you deal with that, Brennan? Because that's something you've brought up a couple times and it's something that comes up all the time too. So I'm so glad we're talking about this and I understand there's like another layer with this too, with this not being your biological mom, but this is your mom.

I'm a very spiritual person, and so your mom is your mom. Your dad is your dad, and that's however it comes to be. But like I am. This is gonna help so many people. You being so open and sharing about this, [00:52:00] and it's so cool that you moved with your mom. I'm just so into this story, but how did you navigate this though?

Because this is, I will tell you, Renan, as you've probably known from hanging out on TikTok with us, it's a top question I get every single week. How do I deal with the fact that I can't talk to my mom or my dad, or like, how do I help my mom or my dad like, fill in the blank, right? How do I help them? You went through this, how did you evolve, right?

Because you are sharing how you felt like you couldn't talk to them, but now you're in a different place all these years later. So where are you now with it? Because it seems like you guys are in a different place with it, and you seem so understanding or respectful of like, yep. This is where my dad is.

He didn't wanna talk about it, but he wanted me physically there with him, which is a beautiful thing. And I want everybody to understand that this is very common for the male mentor in our life, whether it's dad, stepdad, who ha whatever. [00:53:00] That's very common, right? So I think it's so insightful that you saw and you realize, and looking back on that, you're like, dad just wanted me there.

It was like we needed to spend time, mom. I didn't feel like I could talk to even her about it then, but like now we can talk about it and like, now we've done this move and I'm with her too. But like, where, so where are you now with them and being able to talk about it. And also, I would give you a second part of the question too.

What advice would you give to people who feel like they can't talk about it or parents.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Definitely, like I said, I struggled. It's just doing I think I had gotten so angry with not being able to say my piece and own my truth with it. Uh, I went from, looking at videos on TikTok, Googling different things, trying podcasts, just like trying, listening to music and songs, like trying to like connect and feel heard or feel seen or feel rel like I related to [00:54:00] somebody to some extent.

And I honestly, I was fed up, I was fed up with not, I didn't feel like I was being true to myself, so I just started talking about him, as I decided to stop worrying about. Like, especially when I meet somebody new. And the question is, do you have any siblings? Well, yes I do. I do have a brother. He was killed six years ago.

But I do have a brother, like, and so many words or less, I try not to make it a a trauma thing, but 'cause it, it's part of my story. And if you can't get to know me, if you wanna meet me and you wanna ask that question, then you better be prepared for the answer one way or another. Like, not that it's a bad thing, but it's like, I feel like it's definitely made it a lot easier to talk about a lot easier to joke and make jokes.

Like I talk to my brother all the time and make jokes to him too. Like, it's definitely made it a lot easier and brought a little [00:55:00] lightness, a more light to the situation than just the dark, un forbidden topic, I definitely make it a point to say that even when talking to my friends, like if I am struggling, if it's, close to an anniversary or anything like that, I let them know like, this is where I'm at.

This is what I'm struggling with. At least I'm giving them the opportunity to save space for me and to show up for me. Because for the longest time I didn't, I acted, I was okay. I acted like I was okay. So then, yeah, I started to feel alone because it didn't feel like anybody was trying to be there for me.

But in reality, I was really good at putting on a show. And it's not something that you can do alone by any means to anybody listening. It's not something you can do alone. Whether it you have one person or five people in your life that you can talk to about or just, that will hold space for you.

You need to use that, utilize that space for sure.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah. Oh, I love that [00:56:00] and what I'm hearing from what you're saying too, is like, I feel like you became your own advocate, which I think is so important for especially sibling, all of us, but especially siblings who are the only surviving sibling like you, which is a, again, this is a great episode for only surviving siblings to listen to because you are trying to kind of be it all for your parents.

There's so much pressure on that. And so I love what you said where you kind of just turned a corner and you're like, you know what, if I don't open up and start talking about how I'm feeling, no one else is gonna ask me to do it. And it's not because mom is a bad mom or dad is, not talking. It's, they're doing the best they can.

So it's up to me to advocate and talk about it. And you know what, if it's a little uncomfortable for them, okay. Or if it's a little uncomfortable, but for this person, that's okay. But like I need to advocate. And that's what I love [00:57:00] about what you're sharing. And I love the fact that you're also saying this to your friends because this is a big thing that comes up too, is like, Hey, my friend didn't remember this or remember that.

Well, you know what? I love the accountability

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: I've struggled with that too.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Right? But what I love what you said though, Brennan, is you were like. But I wasn't also showing them that I wasn't. Okay. So look, some, as we know, some friends are gonna be crappy about this whole situation, okay? But if you're not being honest and open and saying, this is really hard for me.

I'm going through this. Maybe we're not giving them the full opportunity. It's a 50 50 kind of thing. Look, if they don't show up after that, then let 'em go. It's not worth it. We know. We know we've been through such a significant loss. Life is short. But I love how you're examining and saying, maybe I haven't been open enough.

Maybe I haven't shown them, so let me do this. I think [00:58:00] that's a really great perspective, especially for those of us who are the only surviving sibling in the fam. So, yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Thank you. Thank you.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah. Brendan before I close out and talk about where people can find you, is there anything I didn't ask you that you wanna share with us about your grief journey or any advice you wanna share?

Uh, or anything about Jackson we didn't touch on?

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yeah, like, just, I think the last thing I wanna close out with is just remember to give yourself some grace as well. You can't be so hard on yourself. I think I spent the first four years being my own worst critic, the hardest person on myself, out of anybody with it, and dealing with a lot of anger.

And it's okay to be angry. It's okay to be sad. Just remember that you are human and you have to show those emotions in order to let it out. If you bottle it up, it's just gonna turn into an ugly monster. That is harder to take care of at the end of the day, [00:59:00] without a doubt. And make sure you listen to your, uh, tornado warnings.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Little disclaimer too. Listen,

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: there's a difference. A warning and a watch. A warning. It is ready. It is here.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: God, do you wanna tell us the difference real quick to bring a little levity to it? Yeah. What is the difference? Because I look, I, as a kid, I don't know if everyone knows this, so fun fact, I lived in Minnesota and we learned, then, I'll never forget, a tornado went right over our house. We watched it and it touched down Brennan, the street across from us, wiped out the entire neighborhood.

I'll never forget going over there, bringing food, like stuff like that. It was really wild. And now the majority of my family actually lives in the Midwest again. So it's a, it's definitely a thing. So tell us what is the difference between a warning and a watch?

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Yes. So a warning will be the conditions are just right, that they are watching for, to funnel clouds. Any type of sign that could indicate that a tornado is about to start a [01:00:00] warning is there has been one that has touched ground there. Active signs of a tornado whether it's winds, speed, things like that.

Like a warning is, it means take cover immediately.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Yeah.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: The watch is just be ready, be

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Right, right. Warning means it's real guys. So like it's

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Like you should have already been safe.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Right, right, right, right. No, I think I, that, that's why I love telling these stories and sh I mean, you guys tell the story. I just facilitate it and it's so important. It's so important. And I'll never forget that moment.

It's so ingrained in my life when that tornado came right. I'll never forget watching it from our basement and it wiped out our neighborhood next to us. It's something I was nine, 10 years old.

Never forget this stuff. I mean, that was. A couple decades ago. We're not gonna go into that right now. But Brendan, tell us where because I think, I mean, I know you guys are gonna connect with Brendan if you're the only surviving sibling or if you lost a sibling in a [01:01:00] similar way.

So where's the best way to reach you? Are you a social girl or would you rather like a social media girl Or would you rather folks emailed you if they connected with your story, what's best for you? And we'll put it in the show notes as well. 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: I think is great. As well as email. That works too.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Great. So, uh, what's your Instagram handle and what is your email? We'll put it in the show notes, but if you wanna call it out for them, that'd be great. 

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Instagram is Brennan Salter. Uh, just the first and last name, and then the email is Brennan l salter@gmail.com.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan Maya View: Perfect. And we'll put it in the show notes as well. Brennan, thank you so much for being here and thank you for sharing Jackson with us and everything that happened with your family. And I'm so sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing.

SS S8, Ep 5- Brennan View: Thank you so much, Maya. Thank you for creating this safe space for us to be able to talk about it. It's really helpful and I really appreciate you.

Thank you so much for listening to the Surviving Siblings Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode as much as I did creating it for you, then share it on your chosen social media [01:02:00] platform. And don't forget to tag us at Surviving Siblings Podcast so that more surviving siblings can find us. Remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast.

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