On Episode 5 of Season 10 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler welcomes back Jen Schwartz, a surviving sibling and co-president of the COPE Foundation, to reflect on ten years since losing her older brother Lewis Benjamin, lovingly known as LB, and how finding support, building community, and helping other grieving siblings have shaped her life.
Jen holds a special place in the history of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®. She was Maya's second guest ever, first sharing her story in Season 2, Episode 3. What began as an email from Jen after discovering the podcast has grown into more than four years of friendship, collaboration, and a meaningful partnership between The Surviving Siblings® and the COPE Foundation.
And now, as both Maya and Jen mark ten years since losing their brothers in 2016, they're coming together again to talk about how grief changes, how relationships evolve, and why finding people who understand sibling loss can make such a difference.
In the weeks following LB's death, Jen found herself struggling with something many surviving siblings understand all too well: everyone wanted to know how her parents, sister-in-law, and nephews were doing, but very few people were asking how she was doing.
Despite being naturally introverted and uncomfortable talking about her feelings, Jen knew she needed something she couldn't find in her everyday relationships.
Just three weeks after losing LB, she attended her first sibling loss support group through the COPE Foundation. What happened in that room changed the direction of her grief journey.
Maya and Jen spend time breaking down the misconceptions surrounding grief support groups, especially for people who are nervous about attending, don't feel comfortable speaking in front of strangers, or believe they should have moved beyond needing support because their sibling died years ago.
That desire to help other surviving siblings eventually led Jen to join the COPE Foundation's board and become co-president in 2022. She shares how her involvement has evolved and why expanding resources for sibling loss has remained such an important part of her work.
Throughout the conversation, Maya and Jen return to one of the most important lessons grief has taught them: two things can be true at the same time.
You can miss your sibling and still experience happiness. You can cry on an anniversary and laugh while remembering them. You can carry sadness and still build a meaningful, joyful life.
This episode is especially meaningful for surviving siblings who are hesitant to join a support group, feel isolated in their grief, are approaching a significant loss anniversary, or are trying to understand how to continue their relationship with their sibling as the years go by.
Through ten years of loss, friendship, advocacy, and community, Jen's story is a reminder that grief doesn't have to disappear for life to become meaningful again, and you don't have to navigate it alone.
In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Welcoming Jen Back + Ten Years of Sibling Loss
Maya welcomes back Jen Schwartz, her second-ever podcast guest and co-president of the COPE Foundation, as they reflect on their friendship, ongoing collaboration, and the shared experience of marking ten years since losing their brothers.
(0:02:00) – Remembering LB + The Phone Call That Changed Everything
Jen briefly revisits the sudden death of her older brother Lewis Benjamin, known as LB, in July 2016 and remembers the surreal thirty-minute drive to her sister-in-law's house before learning he had died.
(0:05:00) – Finding Support Three Weeks After Losing Her Brother
Jen shares how the lack of acknowledgment surrounding her own grief led her to seek help through the COPE Foundation and why attending her first sibling loss support group became such an important turning point.
(0:09:00) – What Really Happens Inside a Sibling Loss Support Group
Maya and Jen break down the fears and misconceptions surrounding support groups, including why participants don't have to speak, share their stories, or participate before they're comfortable.
(0:11:00) – The Relief of Hearing Someone Else Describe Your Grief
Jen explains how listening to other surviving siblings talk about their feelings, family relationships, and everyday challenges helped her recognize that her own experiences weren't unusual or isolated.
(0:13:00) – Why Grief Support Groups Aren't Just About Crying
Maya and Jen discuss how support groups create room for laughter, frustration, honest conversations about family dynamics, and the complicated emotions that can follow the death of a sibling.
(0:15:00) – Turning a Monthly Support Group Into Real Friendships
Jen shares how she started an email chain and group text to help fellow surviving siblings stay connected outside their monthly meetings, eventually creating friendships and...
